Energy is as Energy Does

Today is day One of my 21 day challenge. Everyone seems to have one of these challenges at the moment, so I guess I'm jumping on the bandwagon. I'm not doing it for that reason, it is more about challenging myself. I've decided writing a blog daily for 21 days is to be mine. Why 21 days? Well, I read somewhere it takes 21 days to build a habit and I want to see if at the end days I have.
The difficulty will be finding something specific to write about in this time period. No pressure!
Today has been a weird day for me. I woke up alive and kicking, so to speak. I was bouncing with life and ready to face my day. By about 2:00pm, I had lost that feeling. I was exhausted, jaded and ready for bed.
I went shopping and found I barely had the energy to conduct intelligent conversation. Words just didn't seem to flow as smooth as they always do for me. It felt as if my mask had slipped and with it, any pretense that I was happy and carefree.
The energy around us at the moment is changing ever so quickly, sometimes subtly, sometimes not. This week has been a tough one as my emotions and body have been trying to adjust. I alternate between tears flowing unbidden down my cheeks to racing around dancing to music as it blasts from my stereo. That probably sounds normal to anyone else, but I usually have a reasonably tight hold on my tears and only allow them when it's convenient and I'm out of sight. That's where my mask comes in. It covers and comforts me as I convince myself and others that everything is going well.
As an empath, I pick up on everyone else's 'stuff' as well and, as my energy fluctuates dramatically in this way, it can sometimes be difficult to work out what is mine and what belongs to others.
It takes a lot of inner strength to sit and allow what I'm feeling or thinking to just 'be', to acknowledge and be grateful for these sensations. Any other time it would be the best thing in the world, given that I do psychic readings, but right now I find it more than a little distracting.
I read somewhere that the energy changes we are experiencing are about recalibrating our spirit within this physical form. After reading the symptoms, light-headedness, fatigue, cravings, broken sleep, I could identify with this information...and after all it was synchronistic that I stumbled across it, so I know I was meant to understand what is happening to me.
Perhaps you too have been going through some awkwardness, a feeling of not quite belonging in a place where you have felt safe and warm all these years. It's comforting to know others are experiencing it too, isn't it?
The challenge is in allowing, in trusting and in loving yourself and everything about you, even when things are feeling askew.
xx

Lose yourself in the joy of the moment...

I started learning belly dancing sometime late last year. Ever since I can remember I've wanted to learn this style of dance. It 's lots of fun, even though I’m finding it difficult to get a handle on the moves. I am fond of telling friends and family everyone else is ‘elegant’ while I feel more like ‘elephant’!

My problem is I over think too much instead of getting lost in the music and just moving. It’s definitely not a reflection on Em and Barb, the instructors. They're so patient and I love going to class; in fact it’s the highlight of my week. During the lesson I’m happy, carefree and inevitably, the class clown!

I was lying in bed the day after class and wondered why I felt so up and pumped afterwards. I usually come home with a huge grin on my face, telling everyone how amazing it was, how much fun I have and the joy I get from being around a group of happy, smiling other ladies. I realised it is during that hour I can let my guard down and be me. There’s nothing stopping me from being me any other day of the week…except me and the limitations I put on myself.

I am a perfectionist, so I get annoyed I can’t do all the moves perfectly, even though I’m only a beginner. No one else expects me to have all the moves worked out yet…just me!

I wonder why we (and I really mean ‘me’ here) are so hard on ourselves. We didn’t learn to walk or talk overnight and yet we get frustrated or give up when we are learning a new skill that takes time to develop. Is it because we live in an instant society, where food comes already prepared, or we can ask the doctor to prescribe a pill to alleviate a symptom without having to look at our lifestyle? Is it because others have been hard on us in the past and we've taken on board their belief systems or judgements? Or is it purely because we listen to that silly voice in our head that tells us we aren’t good enough or learning fast enough? Were there unrealistic expectations when we were children?

The other day I showed my daughter some of the moves I’d learnt. She told me she could tell the moment I started to think, the moment I stopped believing I could actually show her. One minute I was fluid and the next I was rigid and unbending – not really a good look for such flexible dance moves. I knew she was right; one minute I was at one with the music and next thing I knew the voice in my head said, ‘Yeah, well it looks okay, but you’re not doing it perfect!’

The thing is, belly dancing lessons is just a great way to have fun, to support and be supported by other women as we learn, to share joyful energy. Not once was I told there would be a test at the end of it, so why am I putting myself under so much pressure to be perfect?

Well, ‘Enough!’ is what I have to say to that snippety voice! I am doing way better than I was last year and I have grasped some of the moves and besides no one else is judging me besides that little voice. Everyone else tells me I’m improving and that should be enough. Anyway, when did the voice inside my head become an expert – did she learn to be an expert belly dancer while I wasn’t looking?

I have come to the conclusion that I do this with almost everything I do and it is time to learn the lesson, the one that impacts on a lot of my life, preventing me from just letting go and doing what comes naturally. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to me...the me that's doing whatever activity I choose. I watched a video today on youtube that Yvonne Anderson had put up. She said we should live life like a musical instead of the alternative...in my case a documentary! This comment really resonated! Ahh! The freedom of a musical.....!!

Tonight I went along to watch the advanced group perform and it was not only impressive, but it was a heap of fun. The joy of the dance was evident on everyone’s face. Not one of them was pulling faces as they listened to Ms Snippety. They were in the moment, sharing the happiness and it was an uplifting experience. I stood there with a silly grin on my face as I watched.

As I drove home I decided that from now on that’s what I want to do, be present in the music and not in my head…I want to have that much fun…and one day, I want to be dancing in front of a group of people and sharing the joy and happiness of enjoying something you love to do!

PS. The class is every Tuesday night in Manly. (Brisbane).If you’d like to meet some wonderful people while having a fantastic time, email Barb or Em (Taroonas Belly Dancing) taroonasbellydance@gmail.com

Funny that...

I was doing some random thinking the other day... about how the number three has played a big part in my life. I'm a numerologist, so these things intrigue me more than most.
My full birth date is a 9 vibration, which is 3 x 3
My Dad is born on a 27 (9), my Mum's total birth date is a 3
My ex husband was born on 27, which equals 9
We were married on a 9, separated on a 27 (9)
My son was born on a 3, my daughter was born on a 9
I met Butch on a 3
Butch was born on a 6 (2 x 3), he was diagnosed on an 18 (9) passed away on 21 (3)
The last house we lived in was a 9, prior to that we lived at 18 (9), 72 (9) 12 (3) 144 (9)  - these are the ones I remember, we lived in the country, so a lot of our addresses didn't have numbers.
We moved to Australia on a 3, in 2003
We married on a 3
I'm now living in Tingalpa and the house number is 21 (3)
I'm finding this a bit of an epiphany. As long as I can remember I have always thought I was all about being a 9, that, as 9 is all about endings (so people tend to come and go), being sensitive to others, spiritually aware and focused, being of service and being a part of the world at large....While these all ring true, the external signs/indicators I have got most of my life have slipped past me.
Although I've always been the class clown (well, until Butch passed I was), it was always a cover to hide the real me, who is shy (yes, I know, hard to believe isn't it, which goes to show how good at it I am!) and feels detached from everyone and everything, in a 'not fitting-in' kinda way. I always took life quite seriously, even when I was doing something fun, it had to be done fully and completely.
When I discovered numerology, the first thing I learnt about myself was that I march to the beat of a different drum and I breathed a sigh of relief!
Anyway, back to my 3 thinking..... 3 is all about being the life of the party, creativity, being sociable, having fun, self expression, making friends effortlessly and being curious, I realised the other day that the message I have been getting from everyone and everything along the way, was to learn how to have fun, to enjoy life as a whole, not just parts of it. So, although I am all about a 9 vibration, I am meant to fully explore my 3 side (fun) as well. I just love those Aha moments!
It's funny how I could have seen that straight away for anyone else as I did their numerology report, but for me...? ...hmm
So, how about you look at your life too and see what numbers have been prominent in your life too... If you post them to my Truth By Numbers wall on Facebook, I'll give you a quick definition.
This isn't so you sign up to my page or anything, I am just curious to know if anyone else has a similar pattern they want to share and learn from.
Numbers don't lie! x

Saying Goodbye doesn't mean forever....

For the past six weeks, this song has been haunting me.
The first time I heard it, I thought it was a lovely tune, next time I listened to the words, and had an A-ha! moment! Although it is a song about 'alive' lovers, it also resonates within my belief system. I believe there is a far bigger picture, that when we pass on we still exist, just not in the form we knew here on the earthly plane.
Since Butch has passed, I have felt him around me, noticed many synchronistic events, had proof of his presence through email, my mobile phone and other occurances in my home. (I am ever so grateful I can't feel him enough to know when he bitch slaps me when I think I don't want to live without him!)
I have always told friends if you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of someone who has passed, especially if it's not a common song, or doesn't fit with the radio playlist, you can guarantee this is a message from the other side. There are a few songs that were special to Butch and I and not popular playing, so I know he is saying Hi or I love you when I hear them.
Mind you, I'm the sort of person who will be driving in the car, mulling over a problem, needing help with the answer and will say 'Okay, the next song will help me with this problem'....and it usually does! Try it! You might be surprised!
Anyway, back to my story... This song has been playing every now and then since late August. I started waking up in the middle of the night with it rolling around in my head (and I have a theory on that too, but I don't want to get sidetracked again!). 
The last three years have been tough, losing the love of my life as well as my best friend.  For a while there, I lost my faith, I tried to stop believing there was more to life, but my spirit family wouldn't let me.  They kept making mischief, sending me signs, situations and people until I 'remembered'! 
I knew this song was relative, because there are times when it feels like I am biding my time until I meet up with Butch again.  I knew I was getting a spiritual lecture every time it came on the radio, or heard it when out shopping, but I tried to convince myself it was just a funny coincidence....unsuccessfully I might add!
The more I laughed it off, especially the timing of it, when I was feeling particularly miserable or isolated, the more it played. Two days ago, I heard it three times....same again yesterday....I woke up at 3:00am today and there it was in my head again. I got out of bed this morning and turned on the radio to hear....yep, you guessed it...Goodbye doesn't mean forever...
Okay, okay, I get it! I need to stop looking backwards at what I have lost, to remember the good times and stay focussed on why I am here, what it is I'm meant to do!
Six weeks ago when I heard this song, I thought I should do a blog about the words behind it, to give others a message it isn't really over, that our loved ones are here for us, they can communicate with us in surprising ways and even though it feels like forever before we see them again, they are still around us. I didn't do it though, did I? It has taken six weeks of being sung to in my sleep and 'nagged' via the radio to get to this point.
When you hear a song on the radio that stands out from the usual blah blah of background radio, take note of what it's about. Is it a message you need to listen to, or perhaps a 'spiritual smile and wave' through a shared song/memory? Everyone talks about seeing the same time on a clock continually that has a special significance to them, why shouldn't a song have spiritual significance?
I wonder how often we get messages or think about doing something but don't take any action, only to be reminded over and over, sometimes in the subtlest of ways, what we need to do? 
with love 'n' hugs, Cherie xx

Does pleading deafness work?

Recently I was to do a book talk at a local library. I was early, as usual, and waited expectantly for seats to be filled.  A few people sat down and the conversation would go a little like this:
Hi, are you heare for the book talk?
Oh, are you the speaker?
Yes, I am, my name is Cherie
What are you talking about today?
Cancer, and the powe....whooooooooosh!  They would almost disappear into thin air and I would be left there, talking to myself.
What is it about cancer that we are so scared to talk about, discuss or even think about? Cancer lives in each of us all the time, it is a part of our 'make up'. Of course there is 'something' that obviously tips it over the edge and it becomes a tumour or growth.
With the fatality rate for cancer increasing, it makes sense, to me, we are better off being informed about what we can do to help prevent our own demise. 
I understand we can feel overwhelmed about cancer, it's impact and the changes it forces on our lifestyle.  Sometimes it seems every day there is something we should avoid for its cancer promoting properties. I 'get' that we would prefer to avoid those widely publicised 'evil' foods in the hopes it will stave off the cancer beast, rather than finding out what else we should avoid or have more of. I empathise with people who, like me, can't afford organic food or natural supplements to keep our bodies free of dis-ease.
There is so much more to being healthy than changing your eating habits, cancer is a multi-faceted balance within our body....but I'm not going to talk about that here, it will only take me off topic.
I know writing a book about cancer is like having an ugly baby - you know its an ugly baby, everybody else knows its an ugly baby, but no one wants to be the one to say it. Instead we turn our head away in the hopes we won't be asked to look at 'the baby'.
Cancer won't go away if we ignore it, stick our fingers in our ears and make 'la la' noises, or if we pretend it won't happen to us or anyone we know. 
I'm not saying we should live, breathe or even think continually about cancer, what we should be is informed enough to know what we can do to prevent it.  After all, you don't go out in your car without making sure there is enough fuel, or knowing the brakes work fine, do you? Why wouldn't you do take preventative measures for your self, so you can keep working optimally for as long as you can?
If you would like to know more about my book talk, please follow this link (it's free, and you never know, you might learn something new)  http://www.cnbe1.com/articles_stories.html
cancers not beating every 1
Cherie

Remember no matter how murky life gets, the tide always turns...

Is there anyone else out there who plans to go to the beach to retreat, reconnect, to find solace within the ebb and flow of the waves, only to discover the bluddy tide is out?!
Even if I was so inclined, which I'm not, I couldn't even throw myself off the longest pier because I'd only end up on my arse - which is pretty much the norm for me at the moment! I suppose I could have jumped into the mud and prayed for quicksand....
As I sat there, looking at the landscape, I couldn't help but feeling the mud and rocks symbolised my life right at that moment. Everything felt murky and full of obstacles.. I tossed up whether to go back to the comfort of home where I could hide from the biting cold, or remain seated on a stone cold (ha ha) rock, which was probably giving me 'monkey piles' like my Mum warned me about whenever I sat on cold concrete.....A part of me fely I needed to sit there until I could see past the dark and dismal to the tranquil beauty in the distance.
As I sat there on the pile of rocks lying haphazardly around me, I noticed they were kinda smooth after years of being pummelled by the sea.
If I was to equate that to me, I would say, yes, life has shaped me, taken my rough edges off - not without sacrifice or pain, I'm sure! So, within that context, if I was to consider this pile of different shaped rocks around me, I could think of them as my talents, skills and abilities. There are small ones, strange looking ones, big 'in your face' ones, just like my talents or skills. The fact they are all heaped in a big messy pile is relevant too (and yes, I do realise this is a man-made pile...so is mine - well, woman-made! LOL)
Like the rocks stacked here, I am struggling to work out which dream I should be following, which ones inspire and lift me.
All too often as we accumulate skills and talents, but we don't see them as amazing abilities. We take them for granted, or lack the confidence to feel proud of our achievements. It's only when someone points out how awesome it is that we take a step back and notice how incredible we are.
This happened to me this morning when I spoke to a good friend and set me to thinking about what I want to do in my life. I know I love my writing, I love helping others with psychic readings and healing through Reiki and massage, but is this where my passion is, my fire? I already know the answer, these are my passion, they light the fire in my soul, so why am I doing all the other 'stuff'? Its time to cull the ones that don't serve my purpose or help me to be all that I can be.
Back to my seaside musing...
In front of me the rocks thin out and scatter, reducing in size. To me, these represent the obstacles we encounter on our way to personal greatness. By the way, personal greatness isn't measured by wealth, possessions or a great relationship, unless of course its loving ourselves wholly and unconditionally. It's about being all you are meant to be. These rocks are the big incidents in our life, the ones that create change whether we want it or not.
The small rocks gradually give away to rubble and eventually muddy looking sand. These are the day to day tribulations or 'hiccups', like missing a bus or a green light, spilling sugar as we put it in our coffee mug or running out of our favourite biscuits. Apart from those that disrupt our life and change our day or life irrevocably we barely register the impact they have.
Just past that murky patch, the sand is is gleaming in the sun (I have to use a little imagination here, as the sun is behind a cloud and I can't quite see the colour of the sand from here, but I 'know' it to be true).
The sea laps at the sand invitingly, encouraging me to look past all the boulders, rocks, stones, rubble and dirty sand to begin a journey of discovery, full of light and opportunity, to me, to my ersonal greatness if only I take that first step.
I can't take all these rocks with me, or I'll need scuba gear. However, if I take those ones that matter most to me, the ones that light a fire in my belly. I can probably take some and still keep my head above water. Who knows? Once I have put faith in my rocks, they just might float to the surface or even better yet, they may float higher and carry me to where I truly want to be.
It's all about faith, faith in my choices, my abilities, what and who I love and most importantly faith in me!
Cherie x

PS. In the distance I can see someone sitting at the end of another pier. I wonder if they are seeing the beauty around them, or like me, do they have to 'look past' the rocks to get there?
Life is beautiful if we just take the time to sit still and 'be' to notice

Other People's Belief Systems - Why Do We Hold Onto Them?

I became unemployed two weeks ago. To be honest, my hours at work had been on a downward slide for some time now with the company downsizing. This morning I decided to go to Centrelink and apply for the unemployment benefit.
I woke up feeling flat and a little down this morning, but just decided maaybe I needed more sleep. As I walked into the office, I saw some unemployed folk sitting outside drinking from paper bags and smoking rollies made from old cigarette butts and felt my mood plummet even further.
The staff at Centrelink were extremely helpful and I couldn't fault them for the service they provided.
However, it took all the effort I could muster not to burst into tears as I spoke to them. On leaving the office, I had a 'sunglasses' moment as I tried to hide my emotion....
I realised later my belief system is/was that I need to work for a living, that life is meant to be hard and nothing comes easy, so applying for the dole made me feel like a loser and a failure -not just to myself but to everyone around me. No matter what I did, or how much I distracted myself, I could not get past this feeling of hopelessness.
It wasn't until I was talking to Trish, I realised this belief system had entrenched so far into my psyche I became a victim to it without even trying to, or knowing why.
I have come a long way, I am making huge changes in my life and I have the opportunity to start fresh, to do something new in the direction I am pursuing, all I have to do is acknowledge it.
Sometimes we need to step back and realise that some of the belief systems we 'own' are not ours, that we need to acknowledge them and then let them fly free. How often do we reject or miss an opportunity because we don't feel we deserve it or we believe it's not the way things should be?
Its time for me to evaluate my belief systems and work out which are mine, which ones have been inherited or assimilated over the years and be true to me, not someone else's laws and beliefs. I also urge you to look at your own beliefs and cull out the ones that don't serve you or are your truth.
We are born perfect, we are still perfect, even now... we just need to believe in ourselves and dismiss other people's 'stuff' that has influenced us since birth.
Love and respect for ourselves, baby!